為何永遠放不低

斬眼，四年啦。
當初我都知吾會有好結果，因為你都同樣喜歡她。
我根本唔係你對手啦，肥彈彈，咁怕醜，冇鬼用。
雖然唔關我事，但我唔知點解看見她的部落格有啲心唔舒服。
雖然四年後講哩啲嘢有啲誇張。
亦然你喜歡她，就請你唔好嫌棄她，唔好介意她的外表。
就當係我多管閒事，我只係寫出直覺。

不好意思

我每次都以为我的判断力很好。 虽然很多东西我都能判断出来， 但人的心， 我怎么也无法看穿。
曾经就是太过坚持才能看穿我所谓的朋友。 如今，也是。
但今天，我想要说，由于是自信过分，我怪错了你，对不起 。
我也许不能得到你的尊重，但请你原谅我。谢谢。

Should i?

Recently I knew a few of new friends. I wonder it is my problem or theirs. Everytime my decision making or think is directly opposite to theirs. I wonder i should change to suit them or should don't give a shit to it. Well this post is only to release what's in me. Btw, I'm finished here this time.

新年快乐！

大家好！

好久没开我的blog了。大家新年过得好吗？

我还是很幸运能够和婆婆一起过这一年。。

虽然爷爷，外公外婆已经去世了，但我家人还是一样的热闹 =D
希望大家也能过个快乐年吧！

先完毕啦！拜年去！ XDD

..

一点了，我还不睡，怎么啦？哈哈

谢谢你，

给我的担心，操心，关心，

虽然和你相处的日子不长，但是是开心的过去。

偶尔还会关心下你最近怎样，但没完勇气再次出动。

偶尔还会等您的出现。

虽然等了一年，但是就是没法放下。

顺自然吧，等到那天。。。

也许你不会再回到来。

但是我会等你 =)

面具。

说人家做人很假，我也是。
我是个每天带着假微笑的人，只会说没事。

人家说，很多人演技好，装可怜。我反而是装开心，没烦恼的人。俗语说,一山比一山高,也有很多人看穿我，哈哈。

人那儿会没烦恼，一年三百六十五天开心呢？
我个人觉得，烦恼不是用来显示出来的东西，所以自己知道就好啦。
伤心事可以分享，因为人家也许能帮到你，给你些解决的意见吧。

我是觉得十九岁了，朋友和我都长大了，可是我的思想还是停留在中学期间。

前几天跟朋友出去喝茶庆祝生日，发觉他们聊的话题，都是去club，那些之类的。又说什么男女复杂关系的，说了很多奇怪的男女，卖淫之类的。
虽然不喜欢话题不是我的错，可是我觉得我跟十九岁的距离太远了，而且我接受不到这恐怖的未来。世界是多么的黑暗呀。

是时候看开了，人大了自然会变，无论几年朋友，都会变。

是我天真，是我可笑，以为朋友能从小到大都一样，彼此没有秘密。但没想到人大了自然会越多私事。当朋友越多私事没跟我分享，总会觉得我是个信不过的人。这种感觉不好受。

我知道，我们是没可能回到从前的那些日子，小时候的我们。

心情蛮糟糕的，自己就是个大问题。。不接受事实的我。。

朋友关系，情侣关系，学业关系里，我都是失败者。

刚刚又生气了爸爸，他做什么我都能忍，从来没出声。

可是他也没有体谅过我的感受。。 每当晚上，无论我做什么，都没关系。无论下午睡了多久，一到晚上，看我在电脑前就呱呱叫，从来没看我实在做功课，复习，还是玩就先骂人，欠他一个“睡觉”那样。这我也忍啦。

为了得到更好的健康和身材，我从两个月前就减吃，有时晚餐也没吃。
他没有体谅过我饿着肚子睡，吃我平时不吃的水果，不吃不健康但我喜欢的东西，喝茶尽量不跟去，自己在家里孤单的。不运动的我，都有运动下了。

他从来不懂我在很努力了，一句很无礼来骂我别吃那么多，越来越肥了。还给他赖，说我没注意过体重，食物分量，健康。

我也知道为什么我那么生气，因为我真得很烦。我是怪胎，减不搜的废物

但我不会被他骂两下就打击到我。我会据续加油。

爱情，就跟去年的十月二十五日一样吧，还是等待着，怀念着。

去年六月二十三 至 十月二十五，虽然时间不长，可是经过了很多开心的时光，给了我很多好回忆。
偶尔还会看回信箱，怀念，想念下。

好吧，又是一个睡不着的晚上。五点了，不睡也该休息吧。。

大家晚安。 =)

-完。

To you ==

你不要那么傻啦，
我知道我跟你讲你不会听，所以写在这儿，你自己看看反省啦。

你都跟她好好的，为什么突然因为一点误会就搞成要分手？值得吗？

你不要拿我和你做比较! 我们是不同情形！ 你和她都一年多了，还不会想吗？

她很明显是很在乎，你却跟她一样发小孩脾气，不安慰回她。那么爱脸干吗？
她跟我说了，她很在乎，每次来问我关于你的。请你珍惜吧。。

如果是彼此喜欢对方的，一点东西就没了，不可惜吗？ 无论是谁的错，不能当作原谅从来吗？又不是很大事，只是忙功课没回复她 =.=

如果你主动挽回，她拒绝，那没得说。

可是我不觉得她会拒绝，如果晚了，就可能会。

两个人，不是说谁对谁错，
依赖也一定会有，也不用虚伪，如果你是真得开心，她也开心就对了。

没有说说辛苦，谁受苦。你现在开心还是目前？你自己最清楚吧，打机都乱骂人 ==

如果她跟你也觉得开心，她会等你挽回她的，因为你值得等。

如果她跟你不开心，她等待你搞屁啊？
相信我，去吧 =）

不要等到她不耐烦了，想歪了，那时就够力啦。
你真的变成我啦。哈哈

太晚，你一定会后悔。等待/没法 跟你喜欢的在一起的感受，不好玩。。

偶尔听到些东西，一些歌，照片，都回想起她。。你现在因该弹弹堂都不玩吧？怀念她是吗？ 你可以生气我的全中，哈哈。

那时你听回 “彩虹” 时一定会很 Emo, 我不骗你。

最后，我要说，要帮，都帮完你啦。 PS: 不是她叫我帮，是我多管闲事，我不想你失去她。 （很难受的）

自己好好加油吧 =')

我会替自己加油，别担心，如果是相爱的，天不会那么残忍。。

我会保重，你搞定你自己先吧 =) all the best my buddy =)

- To you : Jer

=')

我是个茅盾先生。

口是心非，是我用来装强，安慰自己的一种。

我觉得我是个大笨蛋。

我也没想到我会为了她做那些以前我以为没可能的事。

愿意做事，精神上是不会累的，只是身体会累。反而，掉转的话，精神累是更糟糕的事。

当稳定时，我就做了很大的错。

没法吧，我也曾经试过修改。看来没什么效果吧。

等着等着，一年过了。
我有了挽回的机会，可惜我又犯错了 =')
彼此是说信任，我却没做到。反而怀疑我让她不开心了。

现在只能等待她吧，看来除了这个，我办不到什么了。
虽然没人要我等，这是我心甘情愿的。

我不想一个错过就结束了，因为这对我很重要。到了我自然不愿意等了，我真的是那么不重要了，那天才给自己个结束吧 =)

每人都不要我伤心，我不会给你们看到我伤心的一面。

That's all I can do. Waiting for the end. It's either Bad or Good ending. I'm looking for Good one of course.

Until the end of the day I had gave up, I won't be sad anymore because of this anymore, because it proofed " You've lost the one that doesn't love you, He/She lost the one that loves her/him most" is a fact.

Sorry to abandon the advice given, I'm just telling what I want. And this is my last wish =)

最近。。

我是个坚强的火。
我是个油灯上的火。

有一天，灯油停止替我增加了。

燃烧燃烧着，已经快没灯油了。

这把火很坚强，固执，没了油不想放弃，据续燃烧等待灯油的到来。

我就快把我自己烧毁了，等待着您的到来。
我会据续等的。。我等你。
想和你说，我没放弃过这个希望，每天都期望这一天的到来。。

谢谢

我不美，我不帅 =）

我是个自然长得这样的人。跟了朋友的每日活动，都是减不到肥。他却搜到木材这样。

谢谢你。

我说过的，我一定会做到。

我现在的决定，是在不给自己有任何的希望。

因为我了解我自己，我是不会这样快放弃的人

所以，现在这样的决定是最好的。我一定会做得到，放心 =)

请不要着怪自己，这个难关，是我自己弄出来，因为现在很清楚了，

无论我用什么方式，我都会答应你，好朋友吧 =)

我朋友。。现在是你们年轻人的世界了，哈哈 ^^

说起来蛮好笑的，

第一次四个月，第二次一年，这次，不懂 XD

老了啦，不用紧，又不是没试过，

大把人都是单声到老啦 =)

又不会死的 XD

谢谢你啦，勇敢的你 =)

=.=

最近，有点烦。我也不知为什么总是有阻碍的。

先说我自己吧。

学业上，中学就别提了。

虽然是过了三个难关，虽然没有失败过，可是就很大压力，

可是看着朋友一个一个的态度，完蛋了。

这个学期的科目，刚开始就觉得很挑战，感觉正在往失败的路线走。。

第一个礼拜，就很多不好印象了。。只是觉得会失败在这学期。。

家庭，

还好吧，妈妈最近很烦，关于钱的问题，车和电单车的状态都不大好。

想到要买新车，又不能，因为还要帮我兄弟三个人给学费。

想到车，就烦死了。轮胎爆了，换代替胎，已经用了整整一个月多，就快顶不顺了。

车子没办法换，轮胎卖车前换不划算。

友情，

到现在还好吧，每个我有找，或有找我的，是我的好朋友。

不喜欢那些，从不跟我讲话，聊天，一打来就要救命哪些。谁忙，谁不忙，我知道，

谁有心，没心，我分得出。可是到现在，我身边的朋友对我很好，我很感谢他们。

而我却没什么帮到人，其实也不该讲人家 ><

友情一般上没有问题，大家还是好友!

自己，

还是我。失败的，哈哈

说要努力，才努力多了点点，

说要搜身，减吃，减喝，连晚餐都刚饱，睡觉前肚子饿着睡。

结果一个月后，一公斤都没少，衣服还窄了，真是失望。哈哈！

可是我没放弃，依然吃少了 =)

我其实还算有点担子，很多东西都还敢试，可是每次想太多，弄到自己但心这个那个，

什么都怕掉，==

想到未来，不懂要往哪一个方向，就开始烦，害怕自己做错选择，害到自己的未来。

人生真是麻烦呀~

爱情？

这我也不懂，哈哈。

抛弃的滋味，不好吃，我宁愿吃好料 XD

既然人家拒绝，我也没想那么多了，八个月了，哈哈

我也有粉丝，可是我觉得很突然，所以拒绝了人家，虽然没想我说什么的，可是跟我说对我好感。

啪托，我不配，等我搜身先吧！XD

拒绝，是不要你等了，不值得，我不懂几时才能医好心病，对不起 =）希望明白。

因该酱多吧？可能打漏了，不用紧，下次补回 XD

再见! 这次就这样先吧！

END

Thanks

Yep Yep,
Its 2011 now!
I'm going to 19 years old soon,no more 18 =(

Thank you.

To my family! first!

Thank you to my parents, you're still giving me my need of money, love, care, for the 19th years of my life. I very happy and very satisfy. I should be very independent, and helpful in family,but i couldn't do that.I admit i very lazy, dint even do something to help my mum in house, not even some housework =( I swear I'll clean the house before CNY, Its a promise.

Daddy! You're the fierce one. We're afraid of you since we're small =x
You always reject our request with some reasonable reason.

You love us very much,always bring us where we want to do, want to play, or want to eat.

Even join us in certain activity unexpected!

Actually I din't blame you for what you din't do that you've promise.

You also have your own stress on working, this can be heard from the conversation of you and mummy.

Complaining about working, you have many things to do and think of, something I've request is not that important compared to the things you do to support the family finance.

Love you dad =)

Mummy! You're the best mummy in me! You are my multifunction mummy.

You take care of us anyway you can, you even give up working and stay home to look over me and my brothers until we're big enough to take care ourself.

Ourself means only ourself, not even other or house.

When I'm small, mummy is always the most annoying one.

I remember I did say mummy food is very boring in front of her before, that cause her moody for the whole day.

But now, mummy very pity us because she working now, unable to cook lunch for us.

She pity her sons because I always complain that outside food all taste almost the same, *Ajinomoto* is the key for them.

She love to see her sons happy enjoying her food everyday!

She worry if her child unable to get some healthy lunch

I felt very sorry to complain that in front of her.

She have to work to support our spending on school fees and daily usage.

She have to do all the housework and work for us. ><

Wake 6am and sleep 2am sometimes =(

Hope you can have your rest soon mummy ^^

Jason! My eldest brother! The one that take care of us most when mummy not around.

He's really do act like a "Dai Gor".

He is the one care about us most.

When doing anything, he sure ask our opinion before doing it,plans things very well that make sure all people satisfy.

He always scare I'm bored, hungry or sick, he do cares.

Even I don't know how to explain what he did, but I felt it. =)

He's the one willing to fetch me to college and even willing to wait me up to 2-3 hours classes while doing his own revision or activities if possible.

He is a very good brother i have, I very happy and satisfy to have him as my brother ^^

Johnson my second elder brother =) The one always busy with his own activity and less to be at home =x

Even he's not the kind of mummy's boy, but he do care about me too.

He always scold me on what I did wrong, lead me to the right way, always play games with me, accompany me to somewhere I want to go or want to do. Thank you ^^

JuMoi! Haha Julian! The feeder XD Joking, the cute and funny one. Since he's small, his mistake was my joke everyday (I'm bad XD)

For me a brother to take care of is not a burden, it is a good thing for me.

He's the one who always make joke with me when we're bored, no matter how lame the joke is, we're happy to *sotplug* together XD The one who always play with me, and helped me in anything he able to do for me too Thank you Julian F3

Friends! No matter you're from Pandan Jaya, neighbour, kinder garden, primary school, high school, or college You all did gave me a good memory.

Without you all, maybe I'm still someone that don't know many thing, I've grown up until now with different types of friend that accompanies me in different days in my study life.

So far, I felt I'm very lucky that none of my friend ever did something to ruin my life which means I don't have any "Friend" that not able to put in my friend list.

From kinder garden until know, with the different style of living, I've learn how to be a true human,, Ahahah!

Every level of studies in different rank changes me a lot, playful, serious, mature.

19 Years old, I should know when to be playful, to be serious right?

Need to have mature thinking too to achieve better result for my future.

I though I'm going to list out my friend one by one, but think back, that is TOOOOO LONG to do that .

Actually i don't know why I'm writing this right now in the middle of the night. But now is my semester break, just felt want to write it! haha!
Thank you!

END

Thats all I can do

既然都这样，很多人都问我有没有再找她。
没这个必要吧，找她，只会让彼此心情更乱。
大家都说，时间可以让我们忘记一切，她也这样说。

爱情是盲的，可以把东西掉反来看。
现在的我，也没去想什么了，
要来就来，要走就走。

还有还要跟我的朋友们说对不起。如今的我，没了喝茶，走街的兴趣。
只喜欢打球，打球，和打球。
我看我是累了吧。只想每天打球，到身体超累的时候，大睡一场。 =)

谢拉。完。

College is back~!

College is back! ><
As usual,still the same feeling with 1st semester,
I mean,haven't bored of it XD

Well,
Was worrying about something such as Co-curicular,Courseworks,
And too bust to online with the packed timetable compared to last semester. D=
But i manage to do as 1st semester since it's not pack as i though.Currently,I'm still able to chat with internet with my Friends and Her XD

So,tonight and now is 1.23am,
Since Wednesday class starts at 10am(counted as late),and I've my nap just now,so just take some times go access blogging,facebook.

So I guess actually I'm posing this cause I'm a little bored,Haha

Until Now then

END

16 / Sept / 2010~

It's Just A Random Post That Showing Whats Is On My Mind Now~

It's Holiday~

After exams,i had a 3 weeks holiday before another semester starts.

Just chatting with friends and playing games until Melaka trip!

Thank You for accompany me oo~ hehe

Yeah,I just back from Melaka trip with my high schoolmates. It is one of the successful trip since there's only a few trip I've been with friends =x

Melaka was my hometown,

Although it is not that excited when going there,

But going with friends are totally different,

Can easily find nice foods,places than stuck in the town and heading nowhere XD

And after i went home,

Slept 15 hours XD

Until just now wake,saw many unhappy post from others people,

And now,for me,too much friends is a problem,Without friends also a problem.

So,I felt I'm in a very good situation,I have nice friends and they're more than few,it's just perfect for me ^^

After all,today i feel quite tired even slept 15 hours ==

Thank you for take caring of me my friends and you~

Thank you all

LoVe YoU~ <3<3

END

Exam!~

Yo!
It's exam week!
I've passed all coursework that require to qualify for sitting exams~
And now,I'm having exam every 2 or 3 days per paper.

First is my English test paper,
I'm confident enough to pass the paper,
But a sad case is,
I've write insufficient words for the essay section =.=''
So,I guess this paper still okie~

And today is my IT (Information Technology) paper,
I've studied for 2 hours yesterday to make sure there is no fail in my current exam.
At first i though it was very hard,so a little bit nervous before entering the exam hall.
But end up it is a quite easy paper,and i hope that I'm able to get at least B+
But I'm trying not to be over confident! There's 3 more papers to go.

Monday is my electricity test.
And also is one of my headache subject.
Although it is a bit simpler than PHYSICS!
But for me,nothing is easy without putting any effort on it,
So,after this blog,I have to use at last few hours on tutorial until I'm able to solve all those calculations!

GAMBATEH EVERYONE WHO's HAVING EXAM!
GAMBATEH JAMES!

-END

没两样

第一次用华文来打blog,
感觉还不错嘛。还好，还会打。

今天要在这里发泄对自己不满的一些东西。
以前的我，认为那些不让自己的男女友跟别人聊天。
当时我认为这是小气，可是最近我也感觉到这种愤怒。

现在我知道了，这是因为吃醋。
因为小气而吃醋。原来现在的我，跟以前我看低的他们没两样。

我会慢慢改变，从小气成为信任！

对不起，爱你~<3

Another 1am~ 26/7/2010

Time goes away very fast,
It is just like an hour from 10pm till now,
I'm glad there's many people helping me passing this bored night easily,
Especially you,

Well,
Everything is back to normal,
I've found my happiness,
Back to normal status,
friends are back,
And don't even care about what people taking about my bad stuff,

For some people,
Help or talk is an excuse to win a person heart,
Whatever you want to blame me,
I'll let you :D
If you feel thats makes you happy and worth.
I just can say that you're antisocial instead of normal human.

Now I already have what I want and what i need,
You can put the blame on me if you think it help you :P

Thank you for all my friends giving me such happiness,I'm glad to be your friend!
Thank you My Love,muackss <3
Love you ^^

Back >< :D

Yo Guys!
I'm back! And im free to blog today,
College life is extremely rush ><
dont even have the time to rest ah! D:
Rush assignments,courseworks Exams
Today im free because my class has ended now and I'm waiting for my brothers and friends that back together later,hehe

And I would like to tell everyone im fine these days!! How about you guys? Hope to hear that you're fine too ^^

I've no more sadness that I'm struggling with few weeks ago,
I mean,is kinda relationship problem between friends,
And I'm happy now,
Thanks to all that helped me,nor would like to hear my story before this!
Special thanks to "someone",You bring me Happiness,Fun,Joy and Unforgetable moment to forget my sad memories.. LOVE YOU!!
Thank You all,GoodLuck on everything everyone!
I guess I've to continue on my assignment now! D:
BYE LAH! Update again when my assignments are done :D

END

Hoping a Hopeless stuff

Day after day~

Time passed away~

And i just can't get you off my mind~

Nobody knows i'm hide it inside~

-If i Let you go by Westlife